You are very fortunate if you received this kind of validation from your parents. Loving parents offer consistent validation to their children, validating their feelings, their perceptions, their gifts and talents, their particular form of intelligence, their interests, their kindness, caring, and intuition.If your parents also validated their own feelings, perceptions, and so on, then you are extremely fortunate, as you likely learned to do this for yourself from their role modeling.However, if your parents did not validate you or themselves, then the chances are that not only do you not know how to do this for yourself, but you don't even know that it is your responsibility to do this for yourself.Since I received very little validation as I was growing, and I never saw my parents validate themselves, I had no idea how to do it or even that it was possible to do this for myself.Now I know that How To Validate Yourself In order to validate yourself, you need to start to notice two things: You need to start to notice how much you judge yourself rather than value yourself.You need to start to notice your feelings, your inner knowing, and your acts of kindness to others, and consciously value them.
When you choose to be kind to yourself and to others and value yourself for your kindness, you will find yourself feeling very happy with yourself.If you had an actual child and you wanted to raise that child to feel very secure, loved, and valued, how would you treat that child? This is how you need to treat yourself - your own inner child, if you want to become a self-validating person.Finally, you need to do a third thing to self-validate: You need to take loving action in your behalf based on what is loving to you - on what is in your highest good.In order to do this, you need to : eating well, getting enough sleep and exercise, speaking up for yourself with others without blame, creating a balance between work and play, moving yourself toward doing work you love, and so on.You will discover yourself feeling better and better about yourself and needing less and less validation from others as you take these steps. So, what do you guys think?Do you think self-validating is as, or more important, than validation from others? If so, do you follow these steps, or do you have other ways you self-validate?As you learn to attend to your feelings and validate the information they are giving you, you will start to feel a deeper sense of self-worth and self-esteem.Often times when a person is emotionally dysregulated, they are looking for validation rather than problem solving or advice.Once the person feels validated, they eventually return to wise mind and can work on solving their own problems, or can appropriately ask for help.Therefore, if you want to validate the person experiencing dysregulation, do not focus on the situation that occurred, rather focus on how the person feels about that situation.To validate the other person’s feeling’s it is important NOT to: Remember, its much more natural to validate someone when you can (at least partially!