Even though she has decided to wait a few years until her daughter is grown to reenter the dating scene, she's confused about how to proceed.
"When Madaline is out of the house I want to date, but I don't know how." Samantha has been divorced for only a year, but would like to start dating again even though her two boys are still in elementary school.
Like Jennifer, she needs some advice but is concerned about how she can make the transition into dating easy on her children. He'd like to date again, and some of his friends say he should start looking for a woman now — after all, he's getting divorced soon.
But John knows better because he's still married, and dating now would go against God's desires.
Jennifer's, Samantha's and John's concerns are common, because according to the U. Census Bureau, 19.3 million Americans get divorced each year, and many of them date and eventually remarry.
Perhaps you share their concerns, as you're also wondering how you can reenter the dating world after divorce — and do so according to God's standards. Divorce is the death of the dreams you had when you committed yourself "for better or for worse." As a Christian, you can't simply separate from your spouse one day and hit the dating field the next.
When Becky was invited to lunch by a man she met at a bookstore, she was excited.She was ready to date and had taken time to seek God and heal after her divorce three years earlier.She thought her lunch date had done the same, but she quickly discovered otherwise. During their lunch, his eyes filled with tears and anguish.When Becky asked him how long he'd been divorced, he admitted that it wasn't final yet, that he was living in the basement of the home that he and his wife shared, and that they'd only been separated for three weeks.Becky gently told her date that he needed to first pursue emotional and spiritual healing. But dating so soon will almost inevitably lead to heartache, since he's neither emotionally nor legally available.She suggested that he develop relationships with other Christian men for support, rather than seek out women for emotional comfort. And, until he heals, he won't be able to relax and commit his entire heart to his new partner the way God intends.To begin healing, you'll want to seek counsel from committed Christians who are willing to walk through the grief process with you.This may mean seeking out your pastor for support, joining a Divorce Recovery group or visiting a Christian counselor.Some divorced church-goers try to convince themselves that God's command to abstain from sex doesn't apply to them — that it's for the never-married crowd.However, Scripture is clear that it doesn't matter if someone has been married or not, sex with someone other than your spouse is still fornication (I Thessalonians 4:3, I Corinthians 6:9).Don't wait to put some practical boundaries in place, such as not staying at your date's home overnight.